How would you like to wake up on Christmas morning to find a gift certificate in your stocking? How about one from Planned Parenthood?
Before you explode with moral outrage—if that’s something you feel inclined towards doing–think about what a gift like this says. Even though 95% of PP’s business is terminating pregnancies, they do provide other related services like screenings and birth control. Would you want to receive a free pap smear this holiday season? How about a pelvic exam?
I’d imagine the same feminists who would storm the gates with pitchforks and torches to emasculate any man daft enough to give his woman a kitchen appliance as a holiday gift, are probably more than just OK with a pelvic exam (pap-smear or even, you know what) from Planned Parenthood as a suitable Yule tide offering. This of course completely abrogates (or should I say aborts?) the last vestiges of a tradition that began by acknowledging life and creation with gifts, and a divine one at that.
I mean reallly, do you know a man who would actually give this gift to the woman in his life–and if he did should he be suspicious? And doesn;t this just add a whole new dimension to the secret Santa or Yankee Swap at the office or family party?
Well, be prepared. Planned Parenthood in Indiana (and I beleive Michigan) are offering gift certificates of varying cash values, to anyone with the perspicacity to put the “planned” back into Planned Parenthood. In fact the organization has considered running the program all year round so it can’t be too long before the gift that says you really care is available in our corner of Mother natures womb.
Is there a woman in your life who has been neglecting her reproductive scheduled maintenance?
And what exactly are the rules of etiquette for this kind of giving?
Should we expect gift cards next with cute little pictures on them? How distasteful will that get?
If you can even stand to think about it, the marketing opportunities boggle the mind. Birthdays, holidays, divorces? How about from your “uncle” on the anniversary of “that special day?” You getting all of this governor–no parental consent in NH–Lynch?
I can actually picture the ‘Gift begins with Kay’ commercialization. A tender moment outdoors at night, soft holiday lighting, a gentle snowfall. She smiles coyly–almost blushing (or is it the cold air?)–as the face each other, gloved hands reaching out between them. But just before they can embrace he reaches into his pocket and…
You know MBNA credit will be all over this. Introducing the Planned Parenthood credit card. Turn your everyday purchases of gas and groceries into reward points you can redeem on ‘reproductive services’ at any Planned Parenthood location nationwide.
The New Media Militia 
I’d love to see proof of your assertion about 95% of PP’s business being abortions. That’s a load of bunk. I know I’m wasting my time on a Cro-Magnon man, but for the millions of women who don’t have health insurance, a gift certificate for a pap smear might just catch cervical cancer in time to save them from dying.
I sure hope you and your penis have an amazingly superior Christmas.
Gee Ray, what a nice thing to say. Maybe someone will get you one. I guess the real question then is, do you use it yourself or re-gift it?
As to the 95%, it is a bit vague, I’ll give you that. That wasn’t exactly the point of the post, but I admit that I read the number and regurgitated it without researching it–my bad.
While PP claims that only 3% of the people who visit them are there to get an abortion, 93-95% of pregnant patients they see get an abortion. That may be the number, and in the context in which I presented it, it would be inaccurate.
Anywhere from 35-75% of clinic income appears to come from Abortions–because they cost sigificantly more; and that figure may include morning after pills–but I have not been able to find that broken out in a detailed classification as either a contraceptive or an abortion. That may be why the range is so broad.
Of the 689.4 Million PP acknowleges in clinic income in 2007, 588 million is medical services. Again, I can’t tell you what classifies as a medical procedure. They do a milion pap-smears and 290,000 abortions. Those are both medical procedures. One costs significantly more. How’s it break out? I’m sure cost varies based on the clinic location.
As to pap-smears saving lives, I bet they do. But instead of selling gift certificates, why don’t they just give them as a public serivice? PP get’s close to 400 million in tax support, and used it to make 112 million in profit in 2007.
If 10,000 women are diagnosed annually of which about 3800 die annually, PP giving away pap-smear screening for free–since you and I already paid for them–to black and hispanic women (who seem to get cervical cancer with greater frequency), or even low-income women in all catagories, would be a real public service.
I could support that.
Again, you post a bunch of opinion with no actual linked verification. Sloppy work, dude.
I looked at the PP annual report, and it sure looked as if there were a whole lot more pap smears, contraception, breast exams, and testing for STI’s than abortions. A lot more. Perhaps you are unaware that the number of abortions, nationwide, is at it’s lowest since 1976?
Are you aware that not every Planned Parenthood clinic performs abortions? The one in my area does NOT. There’s only one PP clinic in the state of NH that performs abortions.
I’m enjoying the logic that since PP gets $$ from taxpayers, they should give away medical procedures. Are you aware that many pharmacies get tax$$? Are you advocating they give us all some free drugs?
Maybe you should have actually read my comment. I included numbers from the report you claim to have read. Sloppy work dude.
I actually admitted that the original number was dubious, then offered the data I could find, most of it from the report you claim to have read. You didn’t seem to have any trouble finding the report, though you neglected to include any actual figures in your reply. “A whole lot of pap smears” is not terribly specific.
And I’m actually not in favor of PP getting any federal funding at all. I’m also against funding the National Endowment for the arts, public radio, phramacies, Big 3 auto makers, and Wall street investment firms, to name a few.
But PP turned a profit on the tax payers dime. At about $25-$50 per pap smear all your “millions of women without health care” could get a free screening on PP’s profit just from the income on this years report. I wont even dispute your lack of evidence on the millions of women argument, just be sure to let me know when that happens, OK?